I'm the daughter of a New York City Police Officer.
I used to resent my mom for it. I really did. She was never there. When I had a soccer game, Mom was off working. When I was going to bed at night, Dad was tucking me in, not Mom. And when ever I needed something, Dad was the first person I turned to. Not Mom. Because I really didn't think that Mom would understand.
I guess it took me a while, and I'm still learning, mind you, to realize just how important my Mom is in my life. She sacrificed so much in order to put food on the table. She cared so much about how we were going to get clothing, a roof over our heads... but all I could see was that there was a blank hole where my mother figure should have been.
I guess that's why I turned to a boyfriend for a while. I couldn't see just how bad Eric was for me until he was giving me the drugs... and it was my Mom that I called for when I felt my mind slipping away from me - knowing this was something only -she- could fix, not my Dad this time.
Mom and Dad are getting divorced. At first I blamed my Mom - I mean - it had to be her fault, right? Her odd hours.. and her constantly defending Bosco...
But then I lived with Dad and his new girlfriend. I couldn't stand seeing them together. I realized... maybe a girl does need her mother every once in a while.
I'm getting older now. And now I'm going to live with Mom again. She and I are actually getting along better than we ever have before.
Maybe it takes some of us longer to grow up than others.
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